Gone. Hunger. Lies. Plague. Fear. Light.
These six books were my best companions for the past weeks. Hands down. Michael Grant did a great job creating such YA masterpiece.
Looking back, this is not how I imagined being 21 would be like. Ugh. I’m bored of my life. I’m not happy. I’m not sad. I’m bored. Just bored.
I haven’t been staying at home these past few days.
It seems as though I am making the most of my remaining “The Unemployed Life” days fast-paced. I’ll start working soon. Although I haven’t signed the job offer and contract yet, I feel like I am running out of time to do all the things that I like before I start working as a full time employee. And the fact that my birthday is coming so soon makes it all a lot heavier to think of how am I gonna spend my remaining days as a free person (or better called unemployed, salot sa lipunan haha).
Having all of these thoughts in my mind, I am thinking of going to Baguio this coming week. This is just a plan. A plan that I really want to happen because I have never been to Baguio before. I hope the universe will be nice to me on my birthday month.
Ace, Edgar, and I watched a horror movie (Deliver Us From the Devil) yesterday at SM Calamba. And Ace found it reasonably weird that I was laughing at most of the scary scenes. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop myself laughing when watching horror movies. That’s weird right? I know I’m scared beyond reasonable emotional extents at horror scenes, I even screamed, but there are these incidents that I’d laugh. And when the movie was over and we came out of the cinema, Ace noticed that I was smiling and I looked so happy. She even remarked that I had gone crazy because of the movie. Ugh. I’m weird. Okay. But I’m not crazy. And there are things about myself that I can’t explain. And watching horror films is one of those unexplainable things about me. Ugh.
I don’t know how am I gonna start writing about my three days and two nights stay at Bohol. The whole travel experience was so grand and amazing. There are just some memories that are better off unwritten. So yeah. I won’t write about it because I can’t. I can’t just turn those beautiful memories into words.
Bohol, I’ll be back to love you again.
I got home feeling drunk last night that I headed straight to our room and fell into a long sleep. I’m sneezing so badly now, I think I might get colds soon.
Great, just great. I forgot to bring my toothbrush.
/three days and two nights sleepover
Being numb has been my routine last year. I was so tired of my demons that I tended to be deaf during my darkest hours, during the times when they’re shouting and raging so loud. I begun to get used to the pain, and eventually I learned to get numb. Not give a fuck anymore. And just carry on. Because this world will never stop spinning for anyone, especially not for me.
That was a year ago. Funny how I can look back to my old self and realize that there are things that will never change. My broken and damaged self will be one. I will never be whole again. And the fact that the rain will always fall down will be the second. The rain has been my refuge back then. And until now, it diverts my mind to much lesser chaotic thoughts.