Here I am again, lost in my own thoughts.
Tomorrow is the day. The day to prove my self-worth. The day to strike and grab what’s rightfully mine. The day to be the real me.
Hahahaha! I’m afraid he’ll read this. So yeah.
I think those should be enough clues. Haha
By the time I reached the station, the train had already left. He, too, had left me. I wanted to shout, to get mad at the world, to blame everyone around me. But then, it was me. It was me who had been so stubborn. It was me who had been hard on him. It was me who had pushed him away. I can’t do anything now. Abruptly, I grew cold in the knees, and fell sitting onto the hard concrete floor. Everything went blank as if the world stopped spinning. Unconsciously looking at the ground I said, “Why did you leave?”
"I will never leave you." The world dawned on me when I heard those five words. It was his voice. I slowly turn my head to look at the person in front of me. There he was, offering his hand with that beautiful smile on his face. He stayed, and he will never leave. I took his hand in my mine. This was real, he was here. And I’ll never let go of this hand forever.
Hi. Here I am again, reading and getting myself lost in your blog. I know I should have introduced myself 2 years ago, but I didn’t. I have this weird urge to introduce myself to you now. And give you a tiny inch of a hint that I’ve been liking you ever since I stumble upon your out of this world blog. God, do I sound creepy now? I just miss you, I mean I miss reading your blog. I hope you’re doing fine in your life in general.
There is this “Try to Live an Organized Life this August” mini challenge that I wrote on my journal last month. Haha! And I’m somewhat proud to have accomplished more than half of it! :) I’m not going to enumerate all those that I wrote there, but what I am most proud of is that I managed to read three of the five books that I listed there! Whoop! Whoop! Yes! Three books! The Lost Symbol, Everyday, and Divergent. Fallen and Battle of the Labyrinth were also on my list, but I chose to read Like the Flowing River (which I finished last Friday) and If I Stay (which I started as well last Friday).
Presently, I’m reading Divergent (when I’m at home which is basically before I sleep) and If I Stay (which I bring with myself every time so I can read on my way to work or wherever).
I’m having these tranquil, strangled and quite not-so-normal thoughts lately. Which, I think, has something to do with reading Coelho’s Like the Flowing River. I’m not particularly sure if it made me a better or worse version of my life. I don’t know, but I guess I’m seeking The Great Perhaps. Lol I’m insane.
It’s been a while. And a lot of things about me has changed. Well, the fact that I’m working now is sort of a new modification in my old life bec I can no longer go online and my social life is sort of narrowing now lol, but I don’t seriously mind anyway. I still have that work-life balance; AND I’M READING TWO BOOKS! Yay! :))).
I am living a new life now. Frankly, this is not the type of life that I imagined back when I was still studying. The world outside the university is a bit uneventful and dull and systematized. I wake up, eat, go to work, go home, sleep (it’s all the same every day). What only makes the difference is that the events that happen in between those routines were somewhat surprisingly new to me, and my reckless and wild adventures during my rest days or the weekends. I miss my bakasyonista life.
I am changing every day. I am becoming more of a practical and responsible person. I learned to let go, and forgive not only the people around me but also myself. I am building new life plans. And it is such a drag because someday soon, I should choose which path to take and which to leave behind. Before, the thought of leaving things behind haunted me; now, it doesn’t bother me that much. Accepting the things that I cannot change somehow made my life a bit lighter to live.
Frankly and truthfully speaking, I am now enjoying my work. However, my heart still desires to pursue law or a master’s degree. I know I will leave my present work soon. It is just a matter of time and choices.
There’s so much that I wanted to write here, but nakakatamad. Lol. I’m keeping a personal journal on which I’m writing a good portion of my somewhat new life. I hope everyone’s doing fine! And I am so sorry for all the unreplied messages. I’ll get back to you soon. Ciao! :*
20/50 Everyday by David Levithan
I couldn’t quite place all the emotions that this book had made me feel.
[Book photo courtesy of my bestfriend - randompandaposts]