behind the smiles

 photo medyodaringtalaga_zps5aefbd05.jpg

Flying and falling at the same time.
Scarred heart. Confused mind.
Unspoken words. Untold stories.
Unanswered questions.
Suppressed feelings.

I want to forget.
Sappy life goes here.

A bit more about her ~
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Current Read

Are you from my school? Read this.
I'd rather eat. Pizza loves me.
21. Like the Flowing River by Paulo Coelho22. If I Stay by Gayle Forman

21. Like the Flowing River by Paulo Coelho
22. If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Posted 1 week ago / Reblog
Sep 16th, 2014

Here I am again, lost in my own thoughts.

Tomorrow is the day. The day to prove my self-worth. The day to strike and grab what’s rightfully mine. The day to be the real me.

Posted 1 week ago / Reblog
Sep 14th, 2014

I want another stargazing session with you.

Posted 2 weeks ago / Reblog
Sep 6th, 2014
Anonymous : moreeeeee pretty please

Hahahaha! I’m afraid he’ll read this. So yeah. 

Posted 2 weeks ago / Reblog
Sep 6th, 2014
Anonymous : who's your crush? give us clues
  • someone I followed two years ago
  • I’m pretty sure he’s straight lol not a gay
  • a fellow UP student
  • he’s older than me
  • we both love the same HBO TV series

I think those should be enough clues. Haha

Posted 2 weeks ago / Reblog
Sep 6th, 2014

By the time I reached the station, the train had already left. He, too, had left me. I wanted to shout, to get mad at the world, to blame everyone around me. But then, it was me. It was me who had been so stubborn. It was me who had been hard on him. It was me who had pushed him away. I can’t do anything now. Abruptly, I grew cold in the knees, and fell sitting onto the hard concrete floor. Everything went blank as if the world stopped spinning. Unconsciously looking at the ground I said, “Why did you leave?”

"I will never leave you." The world dawned on me when I heard those five words. It was his voice. I slowly turn my head to look at the person in front of me. There he was, offering his hand with that beautiful smile on his face. He stayed, and he will never leave. I took his hand in my mine. This was real, he was here. And I’ll never let go of this hand forever.

Posted 2 weeks ago / Reblog
Sep 6th, 2014

to my long time tumblr crush

Hi. Here I am again, reading and getting myself lost in your blog. I know I should have introduced myself 2 years ago, but I didn’t. I have this weird urge to introduce myself to you now. And give you a tiny inch of a hint that I’ve been liking you ever since I stumble upon your out of this world blog. God, do I sound creepy now? I just miss you, I mean I miss reading your blog. I hope you’re doing fine in your life in general.

Posted 2 weeks ago / Reblog
Sep 6th, 2014

There is this “Try to Live an Organized Life this August” mini challenge that I wrote on my journal last month. Haha! And I’m somewhat proud to have accomplished more than half of it! :) I’m not going to enumerate all those that I wrote there, but what I am most proud of is that I managed to read three of the five books that I listed there! Whoop! Whoop! Yes! Three books! The Lost Symbol, Everyday, and Divergent. Fallen and Battle of the Labyrinth were also on my list, but I chose to read Like the Flowing River (which I finished last Friday) and If I Stay (which I started as well last Friday).

Presently, I’m reading Divergent (when I’m at home which is basically before I sleep) and If I Stay (which I bring with myself every time so I can read on my way to work or wherever).

I’m having these tranquil, strangled and quite not-so-normal thoughts lately. Which, I think, has something to do with reading Coelho’s Like the Flowing River. I’m not particularly sure if it made me a better or worse version of my life. I don’t know, but I guess I’m seeking The Great Perhaps. Lol I’m insane.

Posted 2 weeks ago / Reblog
Sep 6th, 2014

Hello tumblr!

It’s been a while. And a lot of things about me has changed. Well, the fact that I’m working now is sort of a new modification in my old life bec I can no longer go online and my social life is sort of narrowing now lol, but I don’t seriously mind anyway. I still have that work-life balance; AND I’M READING TWO BOOKS! Yay! :))).

I am living a new life now. Frankly, this is not the type of life that I imagined back when I was still studying. The world outside the university is a bit uneventful and dull and systematized. I wake up, eat, go to work, go home, sleep (it’s all the same every day). What only makes the difference is that the events that happen in between those routines were somewhat surprisingly new to me, and my reckless and wild adventures during my rest days or the weekends. I miss my bakasyonista life.

I am changing every day. I am becoming more of a practical and responsible person. I learned to let go, and forgive not only the people around me but also myself. I am building new life plans. And it is such a drag because someday soon, I should choose which path to take and which to leave behind. Before, the thought of leaving things behind haunted me; now, it doesn’t bother me that much. Accepting the things that I cannot change somehow made my life a bit lighter to live.

Frankly and truthfully speaking, I am now enjoying my work. However, my heart still desires to pursue law or a master’s degree. I know I will leave my present work soon. It is just a matter of time and choices.

There’s so much that I wanted to write here, but nakakatamad. Lol. I’m keeping a personal journal on which I’m writing  a good portion of my somewhat new life. I hope everyone’s doing fine! And I am so sorry for all the unreplied messages. I’ll get back to you soon. Ciao! :*

Posted 3 weeks ago / Reblog
Aug 31st, 2014
20/50 Everyday by David LevithanI couldn’t quite place all the emotions that this book had made me feel.
[Book photo courtesy of my bestfriend - randompandaposts]

20/50 Everyday by David Levithan
I couldn’t quite place all the emotions that this book had made me feel.

[Book photo courtesy of my bestfriend - randompandaposts]

Posted 3 weeks ago / Reblog
Aug 31st, 2014